there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
