Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
