Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
