Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
