If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
