My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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