The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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