Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
