Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
