About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
