Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
