Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
