Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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