I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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