i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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