Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I can text with my tongue
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
