it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
