Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
