that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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