weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
