Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
