Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
