Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
