im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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