yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
