all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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