i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
