there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
