Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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