i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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