So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
