how can u be prego again
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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