You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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