she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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