I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
