Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
