So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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