**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
