He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
