Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
