Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wish i was in the wii world.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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