Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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