just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
