never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
