Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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