well I can't set my house on fire every night
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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