She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
