Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
