I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
