Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
