This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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